just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
