And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
