whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
