Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
