$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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