I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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