he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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