and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
