Yo dont text me then not text me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize