listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
