He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
