another moral hangover. fuck.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
