Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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