Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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