I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
