and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize