big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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