I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
