ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up under a house in Key West
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
