she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize