He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize