Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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