it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
