Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
