Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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