3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
