i just made my gag reflex go away.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So much rum. So many feels.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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