she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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