scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
