Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
