first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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