then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The beer is more important than you right now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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