Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
