Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
