redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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