So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
