I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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