My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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