Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
