Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
