I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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