you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
