wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
