1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
