Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
