I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
No more Irish car bombs ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
