I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
