i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
