Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
