soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
