My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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