The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
