Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
