But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
