It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
