when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
