Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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