Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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