i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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