I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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