Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
