you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
