I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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