It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
