apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
