The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
