I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
