At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
