dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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