I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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