Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
