Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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