Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
