She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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