Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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