I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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